When I tell people what I do for a living and explain that I work from home running my own business, I’m often met with comments along the lines of “that sounds amazing, I’d love to do that, you can do what you want when you want”. That’s all true, and the amount of freedom I have is great.
I quit my job because I felt like I was trapped in an office 9 to 5 Monday to Friday, I felt like I was working hard to make someone else more money. Most people do this every day, week in week out without evening questioning it. It’s what’s expected of you, it’s the norm, you’re expected to be in employment and I felt we’ve been brainwashed into believing that this is the ‘right’ way to live since a young age.
I figured there’s got to be a better way to live than this, I can work for myself, make my own money work on my terms, and since I can work remotely, I can work wherever I wanted. I’ve seen others that have been successful living this way, and I wanted it too.
It all sounds fucking great doesn’t it? – and for a while it really was.
The problem is it’s a very lonely existence.
I’ve come to realise that no matter where I decide to work, where I decide to live or even how much money I earn I am still going to be working somewhere by myself, lonely and isolated.
I feel like I’ve traded the office environment only to be confined to the 4 walls of my own house. I’m living each day with little or no social interaction, and it’s shit. I’ve tried working from the pub, the library, coffee shops (you name somewhere with a Wi-Fi connection and I’ve more than likely worked there). I try to fill my evenings playing football and weekends socialising, but it doesn’t compensate for working in isolation during the days of the week.
I’d consider myself quite a social person and I wondered whether it was just me that felt like this, but after speaking to others who do the same I’ve realised that I’m not alone, it comes with the territory.
The difference between me and everyone else that works from home is this, it seems others are a little bit older, living in a city, married (often with kids) and they have group of friends living in the area.
I’m living in a small sleepy town in Surrey, most of my friends have now moved away. I don’t have any kids to look after at home etc. Although I’ve been working to build up my own income and looking at things for the long term I realised the other week that I’m no longer happy doing what I do, and things need to change.
Come the turn of this year things were finally starting to work out for me, and I felt for sure more than ever that I wouldn’t return back to a job, but I’ve decided to reconsider.
I’ve considered a number of options including getting a part-time job at a bar, going travelling, getting a shared office space, but I think what I want right now is a return to normality, a return to London and a full time job. I’d still work on my own sites on the side, I don’t think that will ever change, but I would certainly reduce the amount of sites I actively work on. The way I see it is that I’d have 2 incomes coming in.
I’m heading away to Eastern Europe next month, but upon my return I’ve decided that I’m going to begin my job search. I’m not sure exactly what I’m looking for yet, but I’d certainly like to remain in the digital space.
I don’t regret my decision to quit my job, for a while it was amazing and I enjoyed it, I also believe I’ve learnt things that you can only learn by working for yourself. But now I can’t help but feel I’m wasting my life a little, perhaps I tried to do it all of this too prematurely?
Either way I’m excited at the prospect of looking for a new challenge, moving back into London and watching people’s reaction to Wank Sock when they read my CV.